In the process of making great changes, or more accurately, in making larger quantum leaps between parallel realities separated by greater differences, we may encounter both changes we sought, or which we find pleasing even if they are incidental to our causative intent, and other differences which are more challenging. Since all experience is merely a mirror of our own internal story of perception about the holographic reality, that which is challenging is our attachment to our story, or aversion to other aspects of our story. One of the greatest challenges is the meaning and / or value which we attach to our role in our story. Ultimately we may face meaninglessness. If we chose to be at peace with merely pursuing interesting experiences, without attempting to derive some lasting absolute or universal value therefrom, we may have an enjoyable exploration of fulfilling experience. Alternatively we may get caught in our own hall of mirrors, pursuing endless reflections of ephemeral 'meaning' and 'value'. If we do not feel fulfilled from our experience of our reality in the now, then we may pursue the illusory reflections of either our value projections anchored in past experience, or the illusory reflections of future expected values, usually associated with being in some way able to claim responsiblity for having created some change, particularly one which many others can be convinced to agree (in their value systems) has some positive value.
An heroic example of, and the most extreme form of this game is, playing the saviour or bodhisattva role. It flirts dangerously on the edge of ego to presume to know for another what is appropriate or best for them, therefore the best guidance of others is usually to guide them to their own inner / higher guidance rather than to presume to give them 'their' answers.
Ultimately it is creating a reality of limitation for others, to assert that one is at all needed by others. The most common form of this is the dependence of the child upon the adult, and the adult's dysfunctional amplification of that dependence in order to aggrandize their own ego. (Mother) Church and (Big Brother) State prey upon that pattern, becoming surrogate parents to perpetuate the individual's dependence. Making the individual ego 'feel special' by giving them conditional value is a control game. Liberation from this hall of mirrors is quite simple. Be willing to release all illusions that you have any value whatsoever. Become one with valuelessness. Sounds rather like one of those buddhist meditations, no? One's ego will defend unto its death that it really does have value. This internal contrast between the ego attachment to illusory value, and the need for peace and quiet through release of all value judgments can be intense. It also has a tendency to erupt out of the ego and recruit the participation of other egoes. Together, a group of egoes, can all agree to share the illusion of value amongst 'us'. That leaves 'them', those who don't value us, as 'the enemy' of the ego. Funny, does this not sound exactly like the root of most of societal patterning? It is!
Only when we confront our own ego games can we choose to liberate ourselves from them. When we stop running from the monster of valuelessness and let it devour us, we can finally have some peace and quiet in our utter worthlessness. Yet, in being beyond valuing, so is everything else worthless. Having released the game of judging the value of everything, we are no longer controlled by others' value judgments of us. Ahhhhhhh... blissful neutrality of non judgment! Finally, things just are what they are. Finally, we may experience them in the moment, fully. Now, they're actually fulfilling. Experience is its' own reward. Here. Now. Total surrender into feeling of the moment.
Wooooosh... that moment is gone and a new one arrives. Each, equally devoid of value or meaning... It's all just isness being, and we're just doing spontaneously the authentic expression of our own essence. Ah... Nirvana. To be fully in this moment. Just for the sake of the moment. Experiencing experience. Now we're ready to play like a fae.
The above was triggered by recent events and by
my recent couple of days of playing with my 'Fae Play' essence.
My experience of it,
upon spraying its mist over my aura,
is that i very quickly become completely calm and at peace,
centered in my own heart and soul,
completely still.
Within a few seconds of becoming wholistic and fully integrated,
at rest in my core,
an irresistable smile breaks out on my face.
i could summarize by saying that i have released all 'heaviness' and 'seriousness',
and thereby feel so 'light' that i can only perceive 'lightly',
with the humour of detachment,
at peace without expectation,
and pregnant with an infinitude of possiblities,
in that moment before choice.
i could choose anything!
But,
what would be the most fun right now?
How do i choose to play,
as creator goddess incarnate,
right now? ...
and now? ...
and now?
For me,
the experience is one of 'freedom to play as creator fae'.
For me,
the alchemical magick is working wonderfully.
In each moment.
It was not until the 2nd day after i created it, that I trusted my nose to assess the smell of it, as i had become completely overwhelmed by all the components as i mixed them. From the formula you can easily see it is primarily a Rose scent. In some ways spritzing it over my aura is not unlike poking my nose into a rose blossom. It seems that the whole forest came with this blossom. There is a very pleasant Gaian smell underneath the rose top notes,